FYI: This rant was originally written on January 9, 2015 and posted on our Love Life Together Blog. Fortunately, my opinions have not changed.
Attention: This is a ranting post. If you don't like to read somebody ranting about something, then click somewhere else. Try this link.
So, little HG goes to all sorts of doctors and specialists. We went to a specialist today for our biannual check-up. The last time we were at this particular specialist, HG fell asleep on a mat. This specialists likes to conduct "tests" on HG to see how she is progressing into a little lady. Unfortunately, last time we had an appointment at 1pm...smack dab in the middle of nap time...for HG and daddy! This little lady decided to take a nap during the middle of her "testing." When she awoke from her slumber, I distinctly remember scheduling an earlier appointment for the next visit.
6 Months Later...
Had a follow up appointment with this specialist at 10am this morning. Perfect! A time that HG won't fall asleep on the mat. She'll be up, alert, and ready to perform fantastically on her "tests." We get to the office promptly. Check in. I don't even get a chance to sit in a waiting room chair. Things are going great! No one will fall asleep on a mat.
10:05 AM - (Enter the first nurse) OK. She decides to give my little lady some love, which I don't mind. She tells me how cute HG is. I say "I know." Love my child! She is the cutest child in the world!! And HG certainly doesn't mind reciprocating. She loves a good hug. Who doesn't? So, HG gets weighed and measured and ushered into an examination room. We are still on pace to have HG up and alert for a "test."
10:15 AM - (Still with first nurse) We sit down in the examination room and we are asked the SAME EXACT QUESTIONS THAT WE'VE ANSWERED FOR EVERY VISIT. Sorry for yelling, but can't these answers be stored away in the computer somewhere. She IS typing into a computer. Please click "save." Please click "save." I don't want to repeat myself AGAIN. I'm sorry, but don't waste my time with questions I've answered before in this same exact office. I have a kid here that needs to show off on a "test," and you are delaying that experience.
10:30 AM - (Specialist appears) We exchange pleasantries. She tells me how cute HG is. I say "I know." Get this...she starts asking me the same questions as the nurse did. May I remind you that THEY ARE THE SAME EXACT QUESTIONS THAT WE'VE ANSWERED FOR EVERY VISIT. I feel like I'm repeating myself here. AND...she's typing at a computer! Please click "save." Please click "save." I should have said, "I've answered these already, can we just get to the 'test?'" But I didn't...I politely answered the questions.
10:50 AM - HG starts to complain.
10:55 AM - Still haven't gotten to the "test."
11:00 AM - HG seems thirsty and hungry. I leave her in the room with the specialist and retrieve a snack. This may quell her complaints.
11:01 AM - When I returned to the room, HG has started her "test." Let me tell you something about these tests. Now, I'm not a snob or anything, but the next sentence might make me sound like one. This specialist uses the most retro, old school toys to conduct her tests. I know these toys have stood the test of time and have been proven to work in this office, by my little lady absolutely HATES them. When expected to use them, she throws them on the ground and refuses. I don't blame her. She's used to toys that sing and light up and hum. She's used to toys that she can interact with. She's used to an iPad. This specialist expected her to play with wooden blocks. To test her pincer grasp she had those candy dots ripped off the paper. It doesn't help that she is beginning to get tired and cranky because she's been in the office without any interaction for an hour. She's had to entertain herself while her daddy repeated himself. repeated himself. She ended the tests in the grumpiest of moods. Not a happy girl.
11:20 AM - HG didn't do as well on the "tests" as I had hoped. The specialists had the nerve to say, "Next time we should schedule earlier." (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I WAS HERE AN HOUR BEFORE YOU STARTED YOUR PREHISTORIC TESTS!) So, I smiled and said, "I know." I scheduled for 9AM next time.
11:25 AM - We left the office in a tizzy. Cranky kid. Cranky dad. Not sure if anything was accomplished in the office. As soon as HG saw the light of day, she got into a better mood. Let me tell you...HG and daddy can be in the worst of moods, but as soon as she giggles...all is forgotten.