Let Me Tell You Something About Specialists

FYI:  This rant was originally written on January 9, 2015 and posted on our Love Life Together Blog.  Fortunately, my opinions have not changed.

Attention:  This is a ranting post. If you don't like to read somebody ranting about something, then click somewhere else.  Try this link.

So, little HG goes to all sorts of doctors and specialists. We went to a specialist today for our biannual check-up.  The last time we were at this particular specialist, HG fell asleep on a mat. This specialists likes to conduct "tests" on HG to see how she is progressing into a little lady. Unfortunately, last time we had an appointment at 1pm...smack dab in the middle of nap time...for HG and daddy! This little lady decided to take a nap during the middle of her "testing." When she awoke from her slumber, I distinctly remember scheduling an earlier appointment for the next visit.

 

6 Months Later...

Had a follow up appointment with this specialist at 10am this morning. Perfect!  A time that HG won't fall asleep on the mat. She'll be up, alert, and ready to perform fantastically on her "tests." We get to the office promptly. Check in. I don't even get a chance to sit in a waiting room chair. Things are going great! No one will fall asleep on a mat.

10:05 AM - (Enter the first nurse) OK. She decides to give my little lady some love, which I don't mind.  She tells me how cute HG is. I say "I know." Love my child! She is the cutest child in the world!! And HG certainly doesn't mind reciprocating. She loves a good hug.  Who doesn't? So, HG gets weighed and measured and ushered into an examination room. We are still on pace to have HG up and alert for a "test."

10:15 AM - (Still with first nurse) We sit down in the examination room and we are asked the SAME EXACT QUESTIONS THAT WE'VE ANSWERED FOR EVERY VISIT. Sorry for yelling, but can't these answers be stored away in the computer somewhere. She IS typing into a computer.  Please click "save." Please click "save."  I don't want to repeat myself AGAIN. I'm sorry, but don't waste my time with questions I've answered before in this same exact office. I have a kid here that needs to show off on a "test," and you are delaying that experience.

10:30 AM - (Specialist appears) We exchange pleasantries.  She tells me how cute HG is. I say "I know." Get this...she starts asking me the same questions as the nurse did. May I remind you that THEY ARE THE SAME EXACT QUESTIONS THAT WE'VE ANSWERED FOR EVERY VISIT.  I feel like I'm repeating myself here. AND...she's typing at a computer! Please click "save." Please click "save."  I should have said, "I've answered these already, can we just get to the 'test?'" But I didn't...I politely answered the questions.

10:50 AM - HG starts to complain.

10:55 AM - Still haven't gotten to the "test."

11:00 AM - HG seems thirsty and hungry.  I leave her in the room with the specialist and retrieve a snack. This may quell her complaints.

11:01 AM - When I returned to the room, HG has started her "test."  Let me tell you something about these tests. Now, I'm not a snob or anything, but the next sentence might make me sound like one. This specialist uses the most retro, old school toys to conduct her tests. I know these toys have stood the test of time and have been proven to work in this office, by my little lady absolutely HATES them. When expected to use them, she throws them on the ground and refuses. I don't blame her. She's used to toys that sing and light up and hum. She's used to toys that she can interact with. She's used to an iPad. This specialist expected her to play with wooden blocks.  To test her pincer grasp she had those candy dots ripped off the paper. It doesn't help that she is beginning to get tired and cranky because she's been in the office without any interaction for an hour. She's had to entertain herself while her daddy repeated himself. repeated himself. She ended the tests in the grumpiest of moods. Not a happy girl.

11:20 AM - HG didn't do as well on the "tests" as I had hoped.  The specialists had the nerve to say, "Next time we should schedule earlier."  (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I WAS HERE AN HOUR BEFORE YOU STARTED YOUR PREHISTORIC TESTS!)  So, I smiled and said, "I know."  I scheduled for 9AM next time.

11:25 AM - We left the office in a tizzy. Cranky kid. Cranky dad. Not sure  if anything was accomplished in the office. As soon as HG saw the light of day, she got into a better mood. Let me tell you...HG and daddy can be in the worst of moods, but as soon as she giggles...all is forgotten.

RANT OVER

-MG

Dear Puppy Raiser

Dear Puppy Raiser of Our Service Dog,

We know it can't be easy. We know the love and time you put into this little puppy. We can't imagine raising him knowing he'd have to leave. You saw him lose his baby teeth (maybe kept one), you taught him sit and stay, you talked to him when you were lonely, he greeted you when you came home...it must be tough. We know what it's like to have a pet who's part of the family and we want you to know. You must have laid with your puppy hoping they'd go to a loving boy and girl. One that would never be too rough, would scratch them where they liked to be scratched, throw the exact toy you know that they love. We want you to know...we will. Your little baby that you loved and cared for over the last year and half is coming to help an amazing little girl. The baby you have cuddled at night will be sleeping beside a sweet and loving girl. Your baby will have a bond with no words, with their own communication only they will know. We know it will be hard that day you have to say goodbye, but please know he's coming to a home with so much love. We may not know his favorite spot to be scratched or his favorite toy to be thrown, but we will. We promise you Puppy Raiser, your baby will be given the same amount of unconditional love and will be cherished everyday. We know...your baby, our baby is already so loved!

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! To us and Harper we know Patrick will be a game changer!

Love,

Harper's Mom and Dad

Happy Haircut

This is how we get haircuts in our world. 

First off, it is a full family event!  That's right...all of us.  Mom, Dad, Harper and our little one. We make a day trip out of a standard hair cutting. The entire gang loads up into the car and heads off to the hair cuttery. It has always been this way, and I'm pretty sure it will stay this way for a while.

Getting Harper to sit still is always an event.  Whether it's sitting still to take a picture or sitting down for dinner, Harper has, what's called, "ants in her pants." So, when we go to everybody's favorite children's hair cutting place, Snip-its, we know we need to break out the big guns for keeping Harper seated...the iPhone. (Bad parent alert!)

All Harper needs is a little bit of Elmo on that iphone to get her through the toughest of times.  Actually, it doesn't even need to be Elmo or an iPhone for that matter.  Whenever we need Harper to sit still, we just need to pull out an electronic device, preferably one with a screen. In fact, these screens have gotten us through a lot of difficult times with Harper.  We've made it through EEGs, eye exams, dental exams, Plane flights, long car rides and yes, haircuts. 

Hair cuts are a little tricky because Harper's stylist needs her head tilted at specific angles during the session.  This is where Mom comes in to act as a tripod.  She must hold the phone in such a way that will tilt Harper's head in order for the stylist to work her magic. It is absolute comedy to watch this unfold. 

This dance with the phone only takes place for a few minutes, and then Harper is back to holding the phone on her own.  The joy on her face when she holds the phone on her own is quite a sight. 

So, we've made it to the end of the hair cut and we're usually asked if she wants a braid in her hair.  We are always quick to say yes. We got lucky today because our stylist has made a braid or two before.  The hair-do that Harper came out of that seat with made me think she was going to the prom.  And yes...that's glitter spray in her hair. Fun!  

Prom hair-do!!

Prom hair-do!!

How do you keep your kids occupied in a chair for an extended amount of time?  Are there any other devices besides electronics that have been proven to work for you?  Tell us...we'd like to know.